Getting used to the routine already, Tom and I went to the Chemotherapy Cancer Treatment center and first had my blood drawn through the port, then with the tube left in went to see Michelle (another of Dr. Clune's PA's as Kristin wasn't there) She had the prescription for my cough medicine ready and answered some more questions I had come up with (Can I take a multi daily vitamin? Yes, When will they do another PET scan to see if the mets to liver and lungs have shrunk at all? About the end of the sixth treatment session (3 months so two more months to go, etc)
Then off to the day treatment room, we brought the lap top and Tom and I watched a couple of hours of Grey's Anatomy during my chemotherapy, didn't get a room with a bathroom attached as they were full so again many trips to the bathroom.
Didn't go to sleep this time, stayed awake and alert, once again when they inject the Avastin got a hot flash and sweats but it didn't last long.
Then had the pump attached and go back on Weds (Today) to have it removed. No side effects so far except for feeling very very tired. and emotional.
I am developing "chemo brain" though as I am forgetting things and even words used to describe things. It's frustrating but am told it will get worse and just have to learn to work around it.
Today is a busy day for Tom, this morning he will get up at 7am and go to civil court to get a restraining order against the pig of a neighbor who being a drunk is escalating his harassment of Tom and I ,the dude even tried to get Tom to fight him; Tom = 6' tall, 320 lbs of pure muscle and the other dude 5'9" and about
190 lbs, uh yeah right LOL.
Tom complained to the Apt Manger who called her home office, they told her to have us fill out a form for a copy in the office, then another she will give to the sheriffs department. The sheriffs dept Tom talked to gave him an incidence report number and told us to file a restraining order (yes it is that bad, the harassment is intolerable now and has me in tears half the time and Tom is feeling his temper starting to get the best of him so for the best of all involved Tom is getting the restraining order as we both feel the next step might be physical violence. All this childishness and hatred over my standing up to an old busy body (shakes my head)
Then Tom has to come get me, take me to the Chemotherapy treatment and have them disconnect the pump. Then drop me off at home grab his lunch and head out for work.
I think I'll make his favorite, chicken and dumplings for dinner when He gets home about 1am to show how grateful I am to him for everything and for how much I love him.
Okay will write later when get back from the Dr.
P.S. Called Target Pharmacy about the chantrix prescription, they are STILL working to have it go through Medi-Cal so I just have to wait.
P.S.S They did not have my latest CEA numbers on Monday so hopefully today they will, also the cough medicine; Tussin seems to be working a bit better than the over the counter one, cough is not so "barkish" and is not hurting my chest or sides but boy does that narcotic hit me hard, I am nodding out during TV at night although as still waking up way early in the morning so am headed back to bed to snuggle with Tom till he has to get up and go to the court.
Hugs all around ...................................
So got back from the Dr. and it's 1:56 pm. Pump was all done, the needle withdrawn smoothly after flushing the line with saline solution and then heparin.
My CEA from 9/21/09 is 409 which means it has gone up, I am a bit scared but the Dr. says that sometimes it will spike before beginning to drop so we shall see.
Next Monday I go again for the appointment to discuss things with my Oncologist and get blood drawn then the Monday after is my third chemotherapy treatment. No side effects with this one so far.
Also Tom got the restraining order against the neighbor filed and we have to go to court on 10/15/09 to see if it stays permanent, but right now we got the orders for him not to harass, annoy, touch, attack, etc and to stay 20 yards away from Tom and myself.
So this will either end the stupid stuff with the neighbors or send the guy postal. Let's all pray the drama just ends and life goes on.
So until next time, God bless and have a great and wonderful day everyone..................
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
A great night with one little minor annyoance
So, we got dressed up and headed out for out night with Kathy Griffith.
It was a wonderful night, she is such a great comedian and puts on a heck of a show, we didn't stop laughing and she really put out a great performance. Our seats were perfect, 11 rows back and 7 seats in, absolutely perfect. This is what Tom and I do, we do things togeather; Sea World, The San Diego Zoo, The Wild Animal Park, Disney Land, Mystery Dinner Theatre, Movies, Medevil Times, Concerts, Plays, Shows, and I am so thankful to Tom for being in my life and doing these things with me, even if I only have a year or two left, I can say that my life with him has been the best and greatest of my life.
Then we decided to head to Denny's ("our" place (inside joke but yes it is our place) and we get there and go in.
Well, the "neighbors" that are (allegedlly) meth heads and (actually) drunks and harass me at our complex were there and they started making comments and "MOOOOing" at me. It hurt me and took me awhile to get over. (and seriously okay I am 230 right now but one of their girlfriends is bigger than me and the other one is getting bigger and still dresses like the S word but ................................)
I am trying to follow Tom's philosophy of pacifism and ignoring that stuff but it still hurts and I find myself getting hurt that Tom doesn't stand up for me. BUT I was determined not to let it spoil our evening so I pushed past it and we ate, came home and cuddled in bed watching TV till we fell asleep.
Oh btw the I took a vicodin for my tooth before we left for the show and let me tell you that was an experience, I think I was high LOL
Okay tomorrows second chemotherapy treatment so today is relax by the pool, watch football and play my Sims 2 on the computer.
Have a great and wonderful day everyone and will update after the chemotherapy..... God Bless
It was a wonderful night, she is such a great comedian and puts on a heck of a show, we didn't stop laughing and she really put out a great performance. Our seats were perfect, 11 rows back and 7 seats in, absolutely perfect. This is what Tom and I do, we do things togeather; Sea World, The San Diego Zoo, The Wild Animal Park, Disney Land, Mystery Dinner Theatre, Movies, Medevil Times, Concerts, Plays, Shows, and I am so thankful to Tom for being in my life and doing these things with me, even if I only have a year or two left, I can say that my life with him has been the best and greatest of my life.
Then we decided to head to Denny's ("our" place (inside joke but yes it is our place) and we get there and go in.
Well, the "neighbors" that are (allegedlly) meth heads and (actually) drunks and harass me at our complex were there and they started making comments and "MOOOOing" at me. It hurt me and took me awhile to get over. (and seriously okay I am 230 right now but one of their girlfriends is bigger than me and the other one is getting bigger and still dresses like the S word but ................................)
I am trying to follow Tom's philosophy of pacifism and ignoring that stuff but it still hurts and I find myself getting hurt that Tom doesn't stand up for me. BUT I was determined not to let it spoil our evening so I pushed past it and we ate, came home and cuddled in bed watching TV till we fell asleep.
Oh btw the I took a vicodin for my tooth before we left for the show and let me tell you that was an experience, I think I was high LOL
Okay tomorrows second chemotherapy treatment so today is relax by the pool, watch football and play my Sims 2 on the computer.
Have a great and wonderful day everyone and will update after the chemotherapy..... God Bless
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Questions asked and answered received
Had to call my Oncologist today for a couple of questions.
First I have a tooth that really has been bad for years, I just never took care of it (I know I know your supposed to take care of all these things before you start chemo, but I am a "last minute go to the dentist" and it wasn't bothering me sooooo......)
Anyways the tooth doesn't really hurt, just a bit of pressure and is annoying so I called my Oncologist and the PA said she would prefer that I not have anything done to it unless it is absolutely crucially necessary because of the Avastin I am on. If it gets infected or really hurts they will put me on antibiotics and pain killers until such time it may be feasible for me to get it taken care of.
The next item is back in 2004 I had a bladder lift (my bladder had dropped slightly and I had ummm leaks when I laughed or coughed and accidents at night) at the time the surgeon told me somewhere down the line I "might" have to have it redone.
Fast forward to now, I am having leaks when I cough and laugh and not just a little and accidents in bed. Now at one time in between 2004 and now I had a month or so with little leaks and my Dr. prescribed Detrol that seemed to work.
I go back in on this coming Monday to see my Oncologist and then to get my second chemotherapy session.
And was going to ask the Dr. about this but was wondering should I ask for Detrol or for a referral to a urologist to to see if it's time for another bladder lift (Can I have this type of surgery while having chemotherapy?)
Well Kristin the PA said NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO about surgery while on Avastin, she is phoning in a prescription (the lightest dose) of Detrol for me and we shall see how that works.
Also Monday when I go in to see her and do my second chemotherapy session she is going to give me a narcotic cough medicine prescription as the over the counter stuff isn't touching my cough.
Oh and I called my pharmacy about the Chantrix prescription. They got the certificate fax from 1-800-NO-BUTTS so are going through my Oncologist to get another preauthorization and resubmit the prescription to my insurance again, so about another week ~ The pharmacist told me to come in tomorrow morning and he is going to give me half of a starter pack to start me off "under the table" as he is very concerned about my smoking while undergoing chemotherapy, very cool guy and very very sympathetic to the insurance run around.
All in all, everyone from my Oncologist to the Kristin the PA to the staff at the cancer treatment center to the pharmacists are all so wonderful I feel blessed to know these people and glad to have started my treatment.
Oh and one more thing ~ This Saturday night Tom and I are going to see Kathy Griffin here in San Diego (GRINS) I am so glad it's before I start my 2nd chemotherapy treatment and am sure it will be a wonderful night, will write here and tell you all, all about it.
On a more somber note, one of my online friends from a role playing room just lost her husband at 4:30am this morning to complications from a serious internal infection, my thoughts and prayers have been with her all this day.
Well got my question answered, nope no bladder lift surgery allowed while on Avastin,
P.S Got a prescription for antibiotics and a pain killer I will pick up tomorrow for the toothache,.my Dr. did give me a prescription for Detrol the lowest dose of it. Hopefully this will help the "leakage" issue.
I love my Oncologist Dr. Clune at Grossmont and his PA Kristin.
Oh also I have to give kudos to Target pharmacy. I am still having problems getting my Chantex prescription through my insurance (hopefully by Tuesday) The pharmacist called me and told me to come in and get enough of the starter pills to last me till tuesday, free of charge.
There are wonderful people in this world (God bless them)
Take care and God bless and I'll post again soon...........................................
P.S
First I have a tooth that really has been bad for years, I just never took care of it (I know I know your supposed to take care of all these things before you start chemo, but I am a "last minute go to the dentist" and it wasn't bothering me sooooo......)
Anyways the tooth doesn't really hurt, just a bit of pressure and is annoying so I called my Oncologist and the PA said she would prefer that I not have anything done to it unless it is absolutely crucially necessary because of the Avastin I am on. If it gets infected or really hurts they will put me on antibiotics and pain killers until such time it may be feasible for me to get it taken care of.
The next item is back in 2004 I had a bladder lift (my bladder had dropped slightly and I had ummm leaks when I laughed or coughed and accidents at night) at the time the surgeon told me somewhere down the line I "might" have to have it redone.
Fast forward to now, I am having leaks when I cough and laugh and not just a little and accidents in bed. Now at one time in between 2004 and now I had a month or so with little leaks and my Dr. prescribed Detrol that seemed to work.
I go back in on this coming Monday to see my Oncologist and then to get my second chemotherapy session.
And was going to ask the Dr. about this but was wondering should I ask for Detrol or for a referral to a urologist to to see if it's time for another bladder lift (Can I have this type of surgery while having chemotherapy?)
Well Kristin the PA said NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO about surgery while on Avastin, she is phoning in a prescription (the lightest dose) of Detrol for me and we shall see how that works.
Also Monday when I go in to see her and do my second chemotherapy session she is going to give me a narcotic cough medicine prescription as the over the counter stuff isn't touching my cough.
Oh and I called my pharmacy about the Chantrix prescription. They got the certificate fax from 1-800-NO-BUTTS so are going through my Oncologist to get another preauthorization and resubmit the prescription to my insurance again, so about another week ~ The pharmacist told me to come in tomorrow morning and he is going to give me half of a starter pack to start me off "under the table" as he is very concerned about my smoking while undergoing chemotherapy, very cool guy and very very sympathetic to the insurance run around.
All in all, everyone from my Oncologist to the Kristin the PA to the staff at the cancer treatment center to the pharmacists are all so wonderful I feel blessed to know these people and glad to have started my treatment.
Oh and one more thing ~ This Saturday night Tom and I are going to see Kathy Griffin here in San Diego (GRINS) I am so glad it's before I start my 2nd chemotherapy treatment and am sure it will be a wonderful night, will write here and tell you all, all about it.
On a more somber note, one of my online friends from a role playing room just lost her husband at 4:30am this morning to complications from a serious internal infection, my thoughts and prayers have been with her all this day.
Well got my question answered, nope no bladder lift surgery allowed while on Avastin,
P.S Got a prescription for antibiotics and a pain killer I will pick up tomorrow for the toothache,.my Dr. did give me a prescription for Detrol the lowest dose of it. Hopefully this will help the "leakage" issue.
I love my Oncologist Dr. Clune at Grossmont and his PA Kristin.
Oh also I have to give kudos to Target pharmacy. I am still having problems getting my Chantex prescription through my insurance (hopefully by Tuesday) The pharmacist called me and told me to come in and get enough of the starter pills to last me till tuesday, free of charge.
There are wonderful people in this world (God bless them)
Take care and God bless and I'll post again soon...........................................
P.S
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Oncologist's Visit and some thoughts
The Oncologist visit yesterday really really surprised me. First I checked in then because I had my port I didn't go to the usual room to have my blood drawn, Tom and I went to the day treatment room and signed in. Pretty soon I was called and one of the nurses examined my port then cleansed it with the small round delicate sponge on a stick that had some disinfectant on it. Next she sprayed the area with this numbing solution, that stung a little bit and she said when it stung it let her know that the area was numb.
Next she took a needle attached to tubing and settled it in my port. No pain like from a usual needle stick to the arm or hand, just pressure like someone pressing their finger against your skin. Immediately she got the blood to draw and filled 8 tubes then flushed the line and port with saline and something that helps to keep the port from clogging (as usual with saline I got the medicinal taste in my throat) withdrew the needle, put a gauze square and tape on it and that was that.
Then Tom and I went over to the Oncologist side and I got weighed (gained 2 pounds) then saw Kristin again. She answered all my questions, told me if the pain in my ribs got worse or I just felt I needed something to call and they would phone in a mild pain reliever. Also told me to get Robitussin DM for my cough, I hated to tell her it wouldn't work, but hey, maybe this time it will, so will try it and then report back to her. My lungs are clear, no ascites, and my white blood count and platelets are right where they should be. So, an appointment made for the 28th to see her again, get my results of the CEA counts and do my second session of chemo.
Tom and I then went grocery shopping and spent a couple hours. I noticed toward the end my lower belly (under a roll of fat (hate to admit that) wasn't feeling all that hot, kind of irritated you know? Came home, put away groceries, had a late lunch then went in the bathroom and looked ~ OMG the worst possible heat rash whatever, ever! Raw, red and slightly damp, I called my Oncologist and the receptionist said she would have him call me back. He did and he said clean it well, dry it well and he was calling in a prescription for me for a powder to put on it and keep it dry. He said he sees it a lot at this time of year in Southern California where skin meets skin. It's a slight fungal infection, looks worse that it is and just keep it clean and dry.
So off we go to the pharmacy where I get this small bottle of an anti fungal medication I have to put on the area 3 times a day.
Tom and I stayed up a long time at night and I had taken a 5mg Valium as I had gotten anxious when I first saw my lower abdomen. So we watched DVDs of Grey's Anatomy and then went to sleep. I wake up at 5:30 am and have had a small accident in bed again, I got up, cleaned it up and put a towel over the spot and laid down, in about an hour I'll take a shower (it's 6:20 and Tom is sleeping and I don't want to wake him up) then dry myself off and put on the powder on my lower abdomen. And when Tom gets up I'll wash the coverlet and sheets.
I am going to have to stop drinking juice and ginger ale and water after say 9pm when I take a Valium as this is the second time this has happened, both small incidences but embarrassing nonetheless.
On a good note we went to the 99 cent store the other day and I bought a plastic champagne flute and some black fake roses with glitter on the top edges of the petals. Last night when we got my prescription we stopped at Michael's and I bought some glass stones (red hearts, oval clear and frosted ones too) and a bottle of clear glue. The glue was Tom's idea. I crafted! (grins)
We went down by the pool and I cleaned the glass and then arranged the glass stones and the black fake roses in it and poured the glue in until it seeped was down and through and around the stones and then filled the champagne plastic flute up. It looks so pretty!! With Tom's idea and my talent (grin) we did a craft together and it worked out well.
Next she took a needle attached to tubing and settled it in my port. No pain like from a usual needle stick to the arm or hand, just pressure like someone pressing their finger against your skin. Immediately she got the blood to draw and filled 8 tubes then flushed the line and port with saline and something that helps to keep the port from clogging (as usual with saline I got the medicinal taste in my throat) withdrew the needle, put a gauze square and tape on it and that was that.
Then Tom and I went over to the Oncologist side and I got weighed (gained 2 pounds) then saw Kristin again. She answered all my questions, told me if the pain in my ribs got worse or I just felt I needed something to call and they would phone in a mild pain reliever. Also told me to get Robitussin DM for my cough, I hated to tell her it wouldn't work, but hey, maybe this time it will, so will try it and then report back to her. My lungs are clear, no ascites, and my white blood count and platelets are right where they should be. So, an appointment made for the 28th to see her again, get my results of the CEA counts and do my second session of chemo.
Tom and I then went grocery shopping and spent a couple hours. I noticed toward the end my lower belly (under a roll of fat (hate to admit that) wasn't feeling all that hot, kind of irritated you know? Came home, put away groceries, had a late lunch then went in the bathroom and looked ~ OMG the worst possible heat rash whatever, ever! Raw, red and slightly damp, I called my Oncologist and the receptionist said she would have him call me back. He did and he said clean it well, dry it well and he was calling in a prescription for me for a powder to put on it and keep it dry. He said he sees it a lot at this time of year in Southern California where skin meets skin. It's a slight fungal infection, looks worse that it is and just keep it clean and dry.
So off we go to the pharmacy where I get this small bottle of an anti fungal medication I have to put on the area 3 times a day.
Tom and I stayed up a long time at night and I had taken a 5mg Valium as I had gotten anxious when I first saw my lower abdomen. So we watched DVDs of Grey's Anatomy and then went to sleep. I wake up at 5:30 am and have had a small accident in bed again, I got up, cleaned it up and put a towel over the spot and laid down, in about an hour I'll take a shower (it's 6:20 and Tom is sleeping and I don't want to wake him up) then dry myself off and put on the powder on my lower abdomen. And when Tom gets up I'll wash the coverlet and sheets.
I am going to have to stop drinking juice and ginger ale and water after say 9pm when I take a Valium as this is the second time this has happened, both small incidences but embarrassing nonetheless.
On a good note we went to the 99 cent store the other day and I bought a plastic champagne flute and some black fake roses with glitter on the top edges of the petals. Last night when we got my prescription we stopped at Michael's and I bought some glass stones (red hearts, oval clear and frosted ones too) and a bottle of clear glue. The glue was Tom's idea. I crafted! (grins)
We went down by the pool and I cleaned the glass and then arranged the glass stones and the black fake roses in it and poured the glue in until it seeped was down and through and around the stones and then filled the champagne plastic flute up. It looks so pretty!! With Tom's idea and my talent (grin) we did a craft together and it worked out well.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Check up with Oncologist today and as promised my continuing saga with my neighbors
Okay, so today I go in to get my blood drawn and to see my Oncologist and talk about how my first chemotherapy session went.
I have a few questions for the Dr. re's: I am having pain in the bottom of my rib cage area, started off a few days ago kind of bad (had me crying) and then easing off till it's barely noticeable now. I thought it might be gas (embarrassing admission here ~ have had bad gas off and on since my colectomy in Sep 2008, it embarrasses me to no end when I am with Tom and it just happens. He tries to make me feel at ease and even will get me laughing and push on my stomach to make it continue (yeah we are silly like that but it's wonderful to be with someone such as he that can make me laugh even in the middle of being embarrassed) but I want to ask my Dr. about that also. I also have been having coughing spells really bad and maybe that is what is making my ribs hurt?
Have a little bit of a sore throat way in the back of my throat and been sneezing and blowing my nose lately so maybe I have a touch of a cold? All Dr's questions for today.
Side effects of the chemotherapy? Almost none, except for a bit of fatigue, the nausea and vomiting the first night (my fault I think for gorging) and a touch of nausea a day or so in between last Monday and today, and the very slightest of tingles when I touched or drank something cold that went away fast yes I can even get in the cold pool (just up to my waist in concern for my almost healed port and neck wound) with no tingles or anything and no pain in my hands or feet or loss of feeling, a bit of diarrhea once in a while but other than that there has been nothing so I am very hopeful this will continue although I know the 2nd and 3rd treatments from other peoples experiences have really been when the side effects kick in.
Okay so on to my neighbors.
I met and moved in with Tom February 8th of this year. He is a big bear of a man with a heart of gold and is seperated from his wife (his story to tell not mine but not his fault, not her fault, just happened). We live in a small apartment complex and he was friends with an elderly lady (JoAnn) and a guy who has diabetes, and all kind of other problems (Lonnie) about my age.
We had a habit of going downstairs to JoAnns to have coffee and read the paper and generally shoot the chit for a few hours each day. I made the mistake of thinking that his friends could be my friends. I was friendly, open, honest, genuinely concerned about them (there were also others that came over to JoAnns': Rich & Shanna and Bryan & Kathy)
Well everything was going fine so I thought, one day something happened and I got a bit insecure and started drinking just for that day (I used to drink a lot but not anymore in fact it's truly once in a blue moon I have even one drink) ended up telling a bit more of Tom's and my business than I should have but nothing that would make someone hate me or anything. (Tom forgave me for my insecurity and "lapse" and truly we have never had an argument or a cross word between us, he is such a wonderful man he makes my life wonderful. He is a buddhist and I try to follow his examples and his mindset of karma and such.)
Fast forward a couple of weeks and one of the girls in the complex came to me and told me that JoAnn and the "crowd" had made the statement that Tom deserved better than me and why in the world was he with me. (He was dating very beautiful and thin women before but they were users, me okay 49, a bit overweight but still I am not ugly! DUH! and I am definitely not a user, I want to make Tom's life better, happier and easier and I feel and hope that I do so in all areas, He always says He is happy with me and to me that is all that counts) this hurt my feelings and I confronted JoAnn.
Because I had the "AUDACITY" to call the old biddy on her statement and make her tell the truth about them instead of "Oh I would never say that" then talk about me behind my back. She went to the Apt. Manager and made all kinds of complaints about me (okay so when I first moved in I didn't have a bathing suit and went in the pool in a tshirt with no bra (sue me) and yes we had a key to JoAnn's place and I would bring her soda cans (she recycles) and if she was sleeping I would open the door and put them just inside her door, and yes Tom and I kiss and hug in the pool but DAMN PEOPLE come on!!!!) Tom got a letter and he confronted her and so did I.
From that day to this day JoAnn, Rich & Shanna, Bryan & Kathy go out of their way to shun me, to talk about me not to my face but behind my back but loudly enough for me to hear, and to tell everyone else to stay away from me. Lonnie talks to me and Tom and has coffee with us down by the pool in the morning but he is still friends with the others and although I would never ask him to stop being friends with them, this little feeling, you know the one, the one that knows the truth even when you would rather ignore it? tells me that he tells them any and everything Tom and I say and gossips with them about me also.
AND lately I was told blatantly that everyone thought I was lying when I said I had cancer! Why would I lie about something like that????? I just don't know about people.
I have never done anything to anyone of them except stand up to a malicious, gossipy old biddy and I get this treatment, it used to hurt and still does once in awhile especially when I hear "why doesn't she just die already?" But ..................... I have something they will never have, my love of my life, the greatest love of my life, the one who has mended me and made me a better woman, Tom. And that is all I ever need.
Okay will post more when I get back from the Dr's, have a great day everyone ..........................
I have a few questions for the Dr. re's: I am having pain in the bottom of my rib cage area, started off a few days ago kind of bad (had me crying) and then easing off till it's barely noticeable now. I thought it might be gas (embarrassing admission here ~ have had bad gas off and on since my colectomy in Sep 2008, it embarrasses me to no end when I am with Tom and it just happens. He tries to make me feel at ease and even will get me laughing and push on my stomach to make it continue (yeah we are silly like that but it's wonderful to be with someone such as he that can make me laugh even in the middle of being embarrassed) but I want to ask my Dr. about that also. I also have been having coughing spells really bad and maybe that is what is making my ribs hurt?
Have a little bit of a sore throat way in the back of my throat and been sneezing and blowing my nose lately so maybe I have a touch of a cold? All Dr's questions for today.
Side effects of the chemotherapy? Almost none, except for a bit of fatigue, the nausea and vomiting the first night (my fault I think for gorging) and a touch of nausea a day or so in between last Monday and today, and the very slightest of tingles when I touched or drank something cold that went away fast yes I can even get in the cold pool (just up to my waist in concern for my almost healed port and neck wound) with no tingles or anything and no pain in my hands or feet or loss of feeling, a bit of diarrhea once in a while but other than that there has been nothing so I am very hopeful this will continue although I know the 2nd and 3rd treatments from other peoples experiences have really been when the side effects kick in.
Okay so on to my neighbors.
I met and moved in with Tom February 8th of this year. He is a big bear of a man with a heart of gold and is seperated from his wife (his story to tell not mine but not his fault, not her fault, just happened). We live in a small apartment complex and he was friends with an elderly lady (JoAnn) and a guy who has diabetes, and all kind of other problems (Lonnie) about my age.
We had a habit of going downstairs to JoAnns to have coffee and read the paper and generally shoot the chit for a few hours each day. I made the mistake of thinking that his friends could be my friends. I was friendly, open, honest, genuinely concerned about them (there were also others that came over to JoAnns': Rich & Shanna and Bryan & Kathy)
Well everything was going fine so I thought, one day something happened and I got a bit insecure and started drinking just for that day (I used to drink a lot but not anymore in fact it's truly once in a blue moon I have even one drink) ended up telling a bit more of Tom's and my business than I should have but nothing that would make someone hate me or anything. (Tom forgave me for my insecurity and "lapse" and truly we have never had an argument or a cross word between us, he is such a wonderful man he makes my life wonderful. He is a buddhist and I try to follow his examples and his mindset of karma and such.)
Fast forward a couple of weeks and one of the girls in the complex came to me and told me that JoAnn and the "crowd" had made the statement that Tom deserved better than me and why in the world was he with me. (He was dating very beautiful and thin women before but they were users, me okay 49, a bit overweight but still I am not ugly! DUH! and I am definitely not a user, I want to make Tom's life better, happier and easier and I feel and hope that I do so in all areas, He always says He is happy with me and to me that is all that counts) this hurt my feelings and I confronted JoAnn.
Because I had the "AUDACITY" to call the old biddy on her statement and make her tell the truth about them instead of "Oh I would never say that" then talk about me behind my back. She went to the Apt. Manager and made all kinds of complaints about me (okay so when I first moved in I didn't have a bathing suit and went in the pool in a tshirt with no bra (sue me) and yes we had a key to JoAnn's place and I would bring her soda cans (she recycles) and if she was sleeping I would open the door and put them just inside her door, and yes Tom and I kiss and hug in the pool but DAMN PEOPLE come on!!!!) Tom got a letter and he confronted her and so did I.
From that day to this day JoAnn, Rich & Shanna, Bryan & Kathy go out of their way to shun me, to talk about me not to my face but behind my back but loudly enough for me to hear, and to tell everyone else to stay away from me. Lonnie talks to me and Tom and has coffee with us down by the pool in the morning but he is still friends with the others and although I would never ask him to stop being friends with them, this little feeling, you know the one, the one that knows the truth even when you would rather ignore it? tells me that he tells them any and everything Tom and I say and gossips with them about me also.
AND lately I was told blatantly that everyone thought I was lying when I said I had cancer! Why would I lie about something like that????? I just don't know about people.
I have never done anything to anyone of them except stand up to a malicious, gossipy old biddy and I get this treatment, it used to hurt and still does once in awhile especially when I hear "why doesn't she just die already?" But ..................... I have something they will never have, my love of my life, the greatest love of my life, the one who has mended me and made me a better woman, Tom. And that is all I ever need.
Okay will post more when I get back from the Dr's, have a great day everyone ..........................
Friday, September 18, 2009
A few thoughts and questions to ask my Oncologist
Well............ I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by the "lack" of side effects so far. I was expecting by now to be putting on gloves to get anything from the refrigerator, to be bundled up in a blanket at the slightest touch from the air conditioner, to have nausea and diarrhea out the (excuse the expression) wazoo.
A bit of diarrhea yesterday, a bit of a sore throat last night and I "think" terrible" gas pains. I say think because the areas were down in my lower side of my abdomen and when I passed gas the pains eased up, but it was bad enough to have me crying. (Yes I am the world's biggest wuss when it comes to pain), and a bit of a headache that went away, but no nausea, I can touch barehanded anything from the freezer or the refrigerator, put my hands in cold water etc. Just to be on the safe side am drinking room temperature drinks still but will try to today to see how a cold glass of juice from the refrigerator works.
Tom said he had a bit of diarrhea yesterday also so maybe it's something going around and not the side effects? (Okay I can deal with a cold but please, please let's not go the H1N1 route okay?)
I am as I said pleasantly surprised by the lack of side effects and yet .......................... my brain although rationally knowing that the side effects or lack thereof do NOT show a measure of how well or not the chemotherapy is working, some part of me is going "What if this cancer "I" have is the kind that does not respond to treatment? Is the lack of side effects indicative of this?" And again I know what all the books and web sites and people say that the side effects or lack of have no indication on how the cancer is responding or not but still makes ya wonder hmmmmmm? Another question for the Dr.
Oh, on the ongoing saga of Kristin (PA) prescribing me Chantix and the insurance companies not covering it. Yesterday the Dr's office called and told me to call 1-800-NO-BUTTS. I did, they walked me through a 30 minute discussion and answer session on ways to quit smoking and deal with it and are going to send my pharmacy a certificate that I went through this. The pharmacy then sends that in with the prescription (enter a code from the certificate or something) and about a week later I "should" get my Chantix. Also I can call at anytime to the number and talk to a "Counselor" and get support, suggestions, a sympathetic ear, etc while I am trying to quit. Very nice people and I suggest it for anyone trying to quit.
Tom's still sleeping and I am down by the pool so going to end this for now and read the paper, drink my coffee and wait for him to wake up. Today is laundry day so I will take it a bit slow, not try to do too much and will write again later if anything newsworthy comes up. Till later, have a great and wonderful day .......................
P.S Tom's up and down here reading the paper, he reminded me to put here how MUCH of a klutz I am LOL ~ Yesterday I bumped into the wall right at the height where my port is ~ I had to sit down and breathe for 5 full minutes before tears stopped coming to my eyes :) Note to self: BE MORE CAREFUL (as if that will help LOL)
Another note, and so much for trying "not" to do too much.
We came up to get breakfast and I made frozen pancakes and sausage for me and Tom, then started cleaning the house; doing dishes, taking up the cat food and water bowls, wiping down counters, emptying and cleaning the coffee pot and filter, taking up trash, emptying the cat litter boxes, sweeping, moping and emptying trash cans, wiping down counters and surfaces and then changed my bandages.
I need suggestions on how to ask Tom to help me with some of this and allow him to help without getting impatient when it doesn't happen right away cause the nearest I can come to describing the feelings while I am doing this and he is laying on the bed watching TV is road rage. I curse at a piece of litter that drops out of the bag, I throw the trash can out in the other room, I use the mop as a weapon, attacking the kitchen floor and banging into the refrigerator and counters. Tom has said before this behavior "scares" him.
I don't know what to do. I have always been the type of person who when something needs to be done "I" am the one who does it as if I don't it seems like it doesn't get done. By the time I was done my back was killing me, I was coughing and nauseous and upset, I didn't want Tom to hug me or anything as I was sweaty and hot and tired and not feeling well but I don't want him to think I am rebuffing him. And I still have to do make Tom's lunch, do laundry and put trash bags back in the cans and put them back along with the litter boxes, the mop and broom and such.
Any ideas, anyone?
A bit of diarrhea yesterday, a bit of a sore throat last night and I "think" terrible" gas pains. I say think because the areas were down in my lower side of my abdomen and when I passed gas the pains eased up, but it was bad enough to have me crying. (Yes I am the world's biggest wuss when it comes to pain), and a bit of a headache that went away, but no nausea, I can touch barehanded anything from the freezer or the refrigerator, put my hands in cold water etc. Just to be on the safe side am drinking room temperature drinks still but will try to today to see how a cold glass of juice from the refrigerator works.
Tom said he had a bit of diarrhea yesterday also so maybe it's something going around and not the side effects? (Okay I can deal with a cold but please, please let's not go the H1N1 route okay?)
I am as I said pleasantly surprised by the lack of side effects and yet .......................... my brain although rationally knowing that the side effects or lack thereof do NOT show a measure of how well or not the chemotherapy is working, some part of me is going "What if this cancer "I" have is the kind that does not respond to treatment? Is the lack of side effects indicative of this?" And again I know what all the books and web sites and people say that the side effects or lack of have no indication on how the cancer is responding or not but still makes ya wonder hmmmmmm? Another question for the Dr.
Oh, on the ongoing saga of Kristin (PA) prescribing me Chantix and the insurance companies not covering it. Yesterday the Dr's office called and told me to call 1-800-NO-BUTTS. I did, they walked me through a 30 minute discussion and answer session on ways to quit smoking and deal with it and are going to send my pharmacy a certificate that I went through this. The pharmacy then sends that in with the prescription (enter a code from the certificate or something) and about a week later I "should" get my Chantix. Also I can call at anytime to the number and talk to a "Counselor" and get support, suggestions, a sympathetic ear, etc while I am trying to quit. Very nice people and I suggest it for anyone trying to quit.
Tom's still sleeping and I am down by the pool so going to end this for now and read the paper, drink my coffee and wait for him to wake up. Today is laundry day so I will take it a bit slow, not try to do too much and will write again later if anything newsworthy comes up. Till later, have a great and wonderful day .......................
P.S Tom's up and down here reading the paper, he reminded me to put here how MUCH of a klutz I am LOL ~ Yesterday I bumped into the wall right at the height where my port is ~ I had to sit down and breathe for 5 full minutes before tears stopped coming to my eyes :) Note to self: BE MORE CAREFUL (as if that will help LOL)
Another note, and so much for trying "not" to do too much.
We came up to get breakfast and I made frozen pancakes and sausage for me and Tom, then started cleaning the house; doing dishes, taking up the cat food and water bowls, wiping down counters, emptying and cleaning the coffee pot and filter, taking up trash, emptying the cat litter boxes, sweeping, moping and emptying trash cans, wiping down counters and surfaces and then changed my bandages.
I need suggestions on how to ask Tom to help me with some of this and allow him to help without getting impatient when it doesn't happen right away cause the nearest I can come to describing the feelings while I am doing this and he is laying on the bed watching TV is road rage. I curse at a piece of litter that drops out of the bag, I throw the trash can out in the other room, I use the mop as a weapon, attacking the kitchen floor and banging into the refrigerator and counters. Tom has said before this behavior "scares" him.
I don't know what to do. I have always been the type of person who when something needs to be done "I" am the one who does it as if I don't it seems like it doesn't get done. By the time I was done my back was killing me, I was coughing and nauseous and upset, I didn't want Tom to hug me or anything as I was sweaty and hot and tired and not feeling well but I don't want him to think I am rebuffing him. And I still have to do make Tom's lunch, do laundry and put trash bags back in the cans and put them back along with the litter boxes, the mop and broom and such.
Any ideas, anyone?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Getting the pump disconnected and the dressings changed
So, last night wasn't bad, I took a Compazine "just in case" but no nausea. Of course I didn't gorge myself either LOL like I did on Monday.
I had a yogurt last night but for the life of me cannot remember what else I ate yesterday, Oh, a bagel with cream cheese I remember that in the morning, but I don't remember what I ate before the yogurt at night.
I woke up about 5am and felt a little "frisky" so cuddled up to Tom and started kissing his neck, well he was so out of it he petted my hair and went back to sleep and then I did too so rain check on that side of things I guess LOL. Woke up again about ten this morning to the regular routine of getting up, making coffee, getting cats fed, etc. Tom is helping with a lot of this and it helps so very much (nominating him for the best boyfriend ever award :)
So then went down by the pool and had coffee, read the paper and talked to Tom and two of our neighbors (the good ones, not the "started out as friends but then started chit type" (more on that one day when I can talk about it without getting pissy).
Then made Jimmy Dean sausage/egg/cheese biscuits, two for Tom one for me and some more gatorade. My staples for drinks are hot coffee with cream and sugar, gatorade, water, and ginger ale. The last three at room temperature. I still am not experiencing any neuropathy and only a slight cold sensitivity if I eat or drink anything cold. Made Tom's lunch so when we come back from the Dr. he can just grab his lunch and head out to work. It is a blessing he's off Sunday/Monday/Tuesday and goes to work later in the afternoon on the rest of the days.
The Dr's office called right before we left, neither Tri-Care or Medicare/Medi-Cal will pay for the Chantrix so the PA asked me if a prescription for the patch to quit smoking would be okay. I said sure and then we headed out to the Dr.
Got to the Dr's and waited for a bit then a nurse took me back to the day room and uncovered my port and the incision on my neck, said the pump was done and everything looked great then flushed the line on my port with saline and made sure she could draw back blood (that is very important as if they can't it can take an hour to get the port unclogged), She asked me a lot of questions and then took out the tube from my port and dressed it and redressed my neck and sent me out to wait for Kristin (The PA who was going to give me the prescription for the patch. Well Kristin got busy and Tom was running out of time to wait as he had to get to work so I went up and talked to the nurse. She checked and said Kristin would call in the prescription to Rite-Aide for me.
So we left, Tom came upstairs got his lunch, we kissed goodbye and he went off to work. I cleaned the cat's litter boxes (2 litter boxes, the girls "Kimba and Kelly" don't like sharing their litter box with my boy "Mini" so we got him one of his own). Took out the trash, cleaned up the dishes and swept the floor then came downstairs by the pool with a cigarette and Gatorade and my computer.
Did some research on a development going up across the street from us, seems it is going to be section 8, so gave our complex manager that info. Went upstairs and had diarrhea, not real bad but enough to make itself known. Felt a little "off" (heart racing a bit, fatigued, a little bit nauseous) so took a compazine and ate a dry bagel, then relaxed on the bed and watched t.v and played a few "hidden objects" games on my computer.
It's 8:22pm now and I am down by the pool writing this. It's a beautiful night, a bit of a breeze but not too chilly and except for a bit of tightness in my chest I seem to be okay.
Well that's all the news that fit to print for now, will write more either these coming days or Monday after I come back from my in between chemotherapy check up with my Dr. .......................
I had a yogurt last night but for the life of me cannot remember what else I ate yesterday, Oh, a bagel with cream cheese I remember that in the morning, but I don't remember what I ate before the yogurt at night.
I woke up about 5am and felt a little "frisky" so cuddled up to Tom and started kissing his neck, well he was so out of it he petted my hair and went back to sleep and then I did too so rain check on that side of things I guess LOL. Woke up again about ten this morning to the regular routine of getting up, making coffee, getting cats fed, etc. Tom is helping with a lot of this and it helps so very much (nominating him for the best boyfriend ever award :)
So then went down by the pool and had coffee, read the paper and talked to Tom and two of our neighbors (the good ones, not the "started out as friends but then started chit type" (more on that one day when I can talk about it without getting pissy).
Then made Jimmy Dean sausage/egg/cheese biscuits, two for Tom one for me and some more gatorade. My staples for drinks are hot coffee with cream and sugar, gatorade, water, and ginger ale. The last three at room temperature. I still am not experiencing any neuropathy and only a slight cold sensitivity if I eat or drink anything cold. Made Tom's lunch so when we come back from the Dr. he can just grab his lunch and head out to work. It is a blessing he's off Sunday/Monday/Tuesday and goes to work later in the afternoon on the rest of the days.
The Dr's office called right before we left, neither Tri-Care or Medicare/Medi-Cal will pay for the Chantrix so the PA asked me if a prescription for the patch to quit smoking would be okay. I said sure and then we headed out to the Dr.
Got to the Dr's and waited for a bit then a nurse took me back to the day room and uncovered my port and the incision on my neck, said the pump was done and everything looked great then flushed the line on my port with saline and made sure she could draw back blood (that is very important as if they can't it can take an hour to get the port unclogged), She asked me a lot of questions and then took out the tube from my port and dressed it and redressed my neck and sent me out to wait for Kristin (The PA who was going to give me the prescription for the patch. Well Kristin got busy and Tom was running out of time to wait as he had to get to work so I went up and talked to the nurse. She checked and said Kristin would call in the prescription to Rite-Aide for me.
So we left, Tom came upstairs got his lunch, we kissed goodbye and he went off to work. I cleaned the cat's litter boxes (2 litter boxes, the girls "Kimba and Kelly" don't like sharing their litter box with my boy "Mini" so we got him one of his own). Took out the trash, cleaned up the dishes and swept the floor then came downstairs by the pool with a cigarette and Gatorade and my computer.
Did some research on a development going up across the street from us, seems it is going to be section 8, so gave our complex manager that info. Went upstairs and had diarrhea, not real bad but enough to make itself known. Felt a little "off" (heart racing a bit, fatigued, a little bit nauseous) so took a compazine and ate a dry bagel, then relaxed on the bed and watched t.v and played a few "hidden objects" games on my computer.
It's 8:22pm now and I am down by the pool writing this. It's a beautiful night, a bit of a breeze but not too chilly and except for a bit of tightness in my chest I seem to be okay.
Well that's all the news that fit to print for now, will write more either these coming days or Monday after I come back from my in between chemotherapy check up with my Dr. .......................
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Side effects from last night
Okay so maybe I was a little optimistic and a bit of a glutton yesterday and boy did I pay for it last night! Watched the Raider/Charger game and had fun, was a good game but my Raiders lost so per the bet with Tom I have to wear his chargers hat all this week and if someone mentions the Chargers I have to say "Chargers are NUMBER 1" LOL
So still was having a bit of the cold sensitivity in my mouth with cold drinks, not hurting really just like I said like static electricit on the sides of my jaw and a scratchy shard like feeling in the back of my throat.
Then the headache started, took Aleve and it didn't touch the headache. Stomache started to hurt so I took a Compazine pill for nausea just in case.
Within an hour or so I was crying and throwing up then settled down then crying and throwing up again, after that though I was able to sleep. Tom is so loving and helpful but I hate throwing up and I hate that he has to see me do so (trash can by the side of the bed as I couldn't get to the toilet) and he takes care of the cleaning up and me afterwards but I thank God for him and love him so much.
This morning everything is okay except for a bit of a headache. Had coffee down by the pool and now having bagels and cream cheese.
The pump is not a problem so far, no tangled lines, no beeping alarms, and I can carry it around or put it around my waist like a fanny pack.
So will update later today .................................
So still was having a bit of the cold sensitivity in my mouth with cold drinks, not hurting really just like I said like static electricit on the sides of my jaw and a scratchy shard like feeling in the back of my throat.
Then the headache started, took Aleve and it didn't touch the headache. Stomache started to hurt so I took a Compazine pill for nausea just in case.
Within an hour or so I was crying and throwing up then settled down then crying and throwing up again, after that though I was able to sleep. Tom is so loving and helpful but I hate throwing up and I hate that he has to see me do so (trash can by the side of the bed as I couldn't get to the toilet) and he takes care of the cleaning up and me afterwards but I thank God for him and love him so much.
This morning everything is okay except for a bit of a headache. Had coffee down by the pool and now having bagels and cream cheese.
The pump is not a problem so far, no tangled lines, no beeping alarms, and I can carry it around or put it around my waist like a fanny pack.
So will update later today .................................
Monday, September 14, 2009
Woke up to the alarm at 5:45am, Tom hit snooze and I headed for the bathroom to use it, wash my hands and face, brush my teeth and wet down my short, short hair. Then out of the bathroom to turn OFF the radio alarm clock and my phone alarm.
Fed the cats, made coffee and took my Prilosec and one 5mg Valium. Dressed in comfortable clothes and made Tom two breakfast egg, sausage and cheese biscuits.
Got together my blankie (yes blankie sue me I need comfort during this time), a tote bag with my laptop and a movie Tom wants to watch, a tote bag with books for us both and today's newspaper.
Put Tom's coffee in a travel mug and filled my purple Avastin jug with ginger ale and ice. Cleaned the cat's plates and put them in the drainer while Tom made the bed. Then I grabbed my purse and went outside to smoke (yes I am quitting but not all at once) and to wait on Tom (For me being a woman and Him being a man it takes me a hell of a lot less time to get ready than him (grins).
We hugged and kissed and got in the van and headed to the hospital.
Found the A floor in the main hospital, checked in and waited about 1/2 an hour then they called me back. Got me ready and started an IV, then had me walk in to the small operating table and gave me saline and then a cocktail of drugs for "twilight sleep" had me turn my head to the left and made a small incision in my neck, threaded the catheter into the vein and made an incision in my right chest, settled the port in place and connected the catheter then stitched the incision closed and put dressing over them. The needle and line from the port were left in so they could access it for the chemo.
Good drugs, was kind of aware sometimes but if I said even "ouch", "stings" or moaned they were right there pushing more of the drugs so no pain at all.
When I was done they wheeled me out, grabbed Tom and off we went to the Cancer Center where they ensconced me in a recliner in the main day room. Tom got me settled with a blanket and we both read while waiting. The only glitch was no one realized I was there and 45 minutes later Tom went and talked with a nurse, they found my chart and the nurse assigned to me came over and set up a IV drip of saline, then she started me on a drip of an anti-nausea medication and antibiotics and steroids and benadryl. Explaining all of them for me very well.
Tom started watching his movie on the laptop and I was soon asleep, woke up an hour later and got my pole unplugged from the wall and went to the bathroom (this was to be a recurring scene and the nurse said next time (Probably September 28th as barring my white blood cell count or platelet count going to low I will be having chemotherapy every two weeks) I will get one of the rooms with a bathroom (did I mention I have a bladder the size of a pea anyways? LOL).
Then we went on to a saline flush, then the Leucovorin (Folinic Acid), another saline flush, then the Oxaliplatin, another saline flush then the Avastin, then another saline flush and then the 5-FU by injection into the tube to the port in my chest. Then I was hooked up to the pack which will administer more 5-FU throughout 46 hours. I cannot shower during that time and have to try to be less than my klutzy self (GRINS)
Wednesday I go back at 1pm to have the pack removed and to have my dressings changed. Then on the 21st I go to have blood drawn and talk to my Dr.
During the treatment I felt a bit dizzy a few times, that went away, I had big hot flashes that started at my head and went to my toes along with accompanying sweat and I experienced a bit of the shock in my mouth of drinking cold things that is one of the side effects of Oxaliplatin although it wasn't severe yet and it didn't effect my hands.
The whole thing took from getting to the hospital at 7:00 am and leaving the Cancer Treatment Center at 3:30pm but from now on it should take anywhere from 2-4 hours for the chemotherapy treatment.
One thing is my appetite: I was STARVING! During treatment Tom went and got me a Carl's Jr: A big hamburger and fries and a strawberry milkshake. We got home and I ate a 1/2 of a Subways meatball Sub and a big piece of cherry cheesecake, then Tom cooked dinner and I had a fish sandwich. I "think" it's the steroid but seems to be settling down as I am not hungry right now.
No nausea/vomiting yet, only a little cold sensitivity in my throat when drinking "cold" drinks, again not painful just a shock like static electricity in my throat, no neuropathy or cold sensitivity in my hands or feet. A tiny headache and a bit of an ache at my neck incisions (especially when I cough!)
So first session done at the Cancer Center Treatment Center done and going on at home and will see what comes. I thanked Tom for all he is doing for me and all he is willing to do, he is the most wonderful man in the world and the best boyfriend ever and I love him with all my heart and soul, mind and body.
Will write again tomorrow ..........................
Fed the cats, made coffee and took my Prilosec and one 5mg Valium. Dressed in comfortable clothes and made Tom two breakfast egg, sausage and cheese biscuits.
Got together my blankie (yes blankie sue me I need comfort during this time), a tote bag with my laptop and a movie Tom wants to watch, a tote bag with books for us both and today's newspaper.
Put Tom's coffee in a travel mug and filled my purple Avastin jug with ginger ale and ice. Cleaned the cat's plates and put them in the drainer while Tom made the bed. Then I grabbed my purse and went outside to smoke (yes I am quitting but not all at once) and to wait on Tom (For me being a woman and Him being a man it takes me a hell of a lot less time to get ready than him (grins).
We hugged and kissed and got in the van and headed to the hospital.
Found the A floor in the main hospital, checked in and waited about 1/2 an hour then they called me back. Got me ready and started an IV, then had me walk in to the small operating table and gave me saline and then a cocktail of drugs for "twilight sleep" had me turn my head to the left and made a small incision in my neck, threaded the catheter into the vein and made an incision in my right chest, settled the port in place and connected the catheter then stitched the incision closed and put dressing over them. The needle and line from the port were left in so they could access it for the chemo.
Good drugs, was kind of aware sometimes but if I said even "ouch", "stings" or moaned they were right there pushing more of the drugs so no pain at all.
When I was done they wheeled me out, grabbed Tom and off we went to the Cancer Center where they ensconced me in a recliner in the main day room. Tom got me settled with a blanket and we both read while waiting. The only glitch was no one realized I was there and 45 minutes later Tom went and talked with a nurse, they found my chart and the nurse assigned to me came over and set up a IV drip of saline, then she started me on a drip of an anti-nausea medication and antibiotics and steroids and benadryl. Explaining all of them for me very well.
Tom started watching his movie on the laptop and I was soon asleep, woke up an hour later and got my pole unplugged from the wall and went to the bathroom (this was to be a recurring scene and the nurse said next time (Probably September 28th as barring my white blood cell count or platelet count going to low I will be having chemotherapy every two weeks) I will get one of the rooms with a bathroom (did I mention I have a bladder the size of a pea anyways? LOL).
Then we went on to a saline flush, then the Leucovorin (Folinic Acid), another saline flush, then the Oxaliplatin, another saline flush then the Avastin, then another saline flush and then the 5-FU by injection into the tube to the port in my chest. Then I was hooked up to the pack which will administer more 5-FU throughout 46 hours. I cannot shower during that time and have to try to be less than my klutzy self (GRINS)
Wednesday I go back at 1pm to have the pack removed and to have my dressings changed. Then on the 21st I go to have blood drawn and talk to my Dr.
During the treatment I felt a bit dizzy a few times, that went away, I had big hot flashes that started at my head and went to my toes along with accompanying sweat and I experienced a bit of the shock in my mouth of drinking cold things that is one of the side effects of Oxaliplatin although it wasn't severe yet and it didn't effect my hands.
The whole thing took from getting to the hospital at 7:00 am and leaving the Cancer Treatment Center at 3:30pm but from now on it should take anywhere from 2-4 hours for the chemotherapy treatment.
One thing is my appetite: I was STARVING! During treatment Tom went and got me a Carl's Jr: A big hamburger and fries and a strawberry milkshake. We got home and I ate a 1/2 of a Subways meatball Sub and a big piece of cherry cheesecake, then Tom cooked dinner and I had a fish sandwich. I "think" it's the steroid but seems to be settling down as I am not hungry right now.
No nausea/vomiting yet, only a little cold sensitivity in my throat when drinking "cold" drinks, again not painful just a shock like static electricity in my throat, no neuropathy or cold sensitivity in my hands or feet. A tiny headache and a bit of an ache at my neck incisions (especially when I cough!)
So first session done at the Cancer Center Treatment Center done and going on at home and will see what comes. I thanked Tom for all he is doing for me and all he is willing to do, he is the most wonderful man in the world and the best boyfriend ever and I love him with all my heart and soul, mind and body.
Will write again tomorrow ..........................
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Dr's Visit on 9/8/09
So, Tom and I went to my Dr's for my "Chemo Lessons". They weighed me (I lost 7 lbs. which is actually good as I am overweight at this time ~ yeah go figure someone with terminal cancer overweight LOL)
Then they took my temp, pulse and blood pressure, all good. Tom wants one of the new wrist blood pressure takers (grin).
The PA (Physicians Assistant) came in and gave me all kind of literature about the treatment I will be getting (Folfox 6 which equals leucovorin calcium (calcium folinate), 5-fluorouracil and oxaliplatin and also another drug called Avastin.
She explained the side effects but I really feel like she minimized them from what I have read about other peoples reactions, but she says and it's true that everyone is different so we shall see.
She came me prescriptions for Compazine for the nausea/vomiting, Valium to steady my nerves, Prilosec because I have acid reflux syndrome and the chemotherapy can make it worse ~ I was taking prilosec OTC but she gave me a prescription for a stronger dose. She also gave me Chantix to stop smoking (I get that one filled Sunday and start taking it).
I got my prescriptions filled and because I had asked her to give me a long term supply of all of them when I am about 2/3's way done with a prescription I can call my pharmacy and have them start home delivery through FedEx or UPS.
She answered all my questions regarding getting my port in, pain after, how the chemotherapy will be administered, what the side effects might be, health risks, precautions, etc.
The port will be put in under "twilight sleep" surgery at the hospital and then I will go right over to my Oncologists office (same campus) and get my chemotherapy started. It will be a long day about 6 hours she says.
She said they will give me a prescription for pain after the port is put in (basically they make an incision in the right part of my chest, thread a catheter into the vein, attach the port and then set the incision together.
The side effect she stressed is from the oxaliplatin which can cause neuropathy (tingling in hands and feet) and sensitivity to cold, she told me not to take anything from the freezer or fridge by myself without gloves on or ask someone else to do it. And to let drinks, food etc get room temperature before eating or drinking them. And if I do develop that side effects then my daily dips in the cold pool at our apt. complex are out :(
I will be fatigued she said, no doubt about that, but the medicines I get with the chemotherapy with help the nausea/vomiting. I may or may not have a bit of pain or hair loss.
She took us to the chemotherapy room and explained that I will sit out in the big area at first so they can monitor my reaction to the chemotherapy for a few visits. They will numb the skin over the port with a lidocaine spray so the needle won't hurt.
She said to eat a good breakfast but not fatty and drink lots of fluid before, during and after my chemotherapy. I will be hooked to a pump at the end of the session which will go home with me and deliver the chemotherapy for 46 hours after. Then I have to go in and they disconnect the pump till the next chemotherapy session two weeks later.
I have to get a flu shot but not if it is the "live virus kind" and not the H1N1 ...... yet.
I have to be careful of infections both internally and from cuts, scratches or wounds as my immune system will be compromised and if I get a fever of 100.5 or a scratch or wound gets red or inflamed I am to go to my Oncologists office or the emergency room right away.
So, a ton of reading material and Sep 14th I go in at 7:15am to get the port then go over to start the chemotherapy. On the 16th I go back to have the pump disconnected then go back on the 21st for a checkup on blood work etc. (to see how my white blood cells and platelets are doing)
I am on a every two week chemotherapy session schedule.
I decided there was one thing I am going to control and that is my hair, now it may not fall out or may just thin or may fall out. I had it cut short yesterday as I don't want to put me or Tom through the "OMG my hair is falling out in clumps" thing. (wry grin)
Okay that's all I can think of for now but will update again if not before then after my first day of chemotherapy.
Then they took my temp, pulse and blood pressure, all good. Tom wants one of the new wrist blood pressure takers (grin).
The PA (Physicians Assistant) came in and gave me all kind of literature about the treatment I will be getting (Folfox 6 which equals leucovorin calcium (calcium folinate), 5-fluorouracil and oxaliplatin and also another drug called Avastin.
She explained the side effects but I really feel like she minimized them from what I have read about other peoples reactions, but she says and it's true that everyone is different so we shall see.
She came me prescriptions for Compazine for the nausea/vomiting, Valium to steady my nerves, Prilosec because I have acid reflux syndrome and the chemotherapy can make it worse ~ I was taking prilosec OTC but she gave me a prescription for a stronger dose. She also gave me Chantix to stop smoking (I get that one filled Sunday and start taking it).
I got my prescriptions filled and because I had asked her to give me a long term supply of all of them when I am about 2/3's way done with a prescription I can call my pharmacy and have them start home delivery through FedEx or UPS.
She answered all my questions regarding getting my port in, pain after, how the chemotherapy will be administered, what the side effects might be, health risks, precautions, etc.
The port will be put in under "twilight sleep" surgery at the hospital and then I will go right over to my Oncologists office (same campus) and get my chemotherapy started. It will be a long day about 6 hours she says.
She said they will give me a prescription for pain after the port is put in (basically they make an incision in the right part of my chest, thread a catheter into the vein, attach the port and then set the incision together.
The side effect she stressed is from the oxaliplatin which can cause neuropathy (tingling in hands and feet) and sensitivity to cold, she told me not to take anything from the freezer or fridge by myself without gloves on or ask someone else to do it. And to let drinks, food etc get room temperature before eating or drinking them. And if I do develop that side effects then my daily dips in the cold pool at our apt. complex are out :(
I will be fatigued she said, no doubt about that, but the medicines I get with the chemotherapy with help the nausea/vomiting. I may or may not have a bit of pain or hair loss.
She took us to the chemotherapy room and explained that I will sit out in the big area at first so they can monitor my reaction to the chemotherapy for a few visits. They will numb the skin over the port with a lidocaine spray so the needle won't hurt.
She said to eat a good breakfast but not fatty and drink lots of fluid before, during and after my chemotherapy. I will be hooked to a pump at the end of the session which will go home with me and deliver the chemotherapy for 46 hours after. Then I have to go in and they disconnect the pump till the next chemotherapy session two weeks later.
I have to get a flu shot but not if it is the "live virus kind" and not the H1N1 ...... yet.
I have to be careful of infections both internally and from cuts, scratches or wounds as my immune system will be compromised and if I get a fever of 100.5 or a scratch or wound gets red or inflamed I am to go to my Oncologists office or the emergency room right away.
So, a ton of reading material and Sep 14th I go in at 7:15am to get the port then go over to start the chemotherapy. On the 16th I go back to have the pump disconnected then go back on the 21st for a checkup on blood work etc. (to see how my white blood cells and platelets are doing)
I am on a every two week chemotherapy session schedule.
I decided there was one thing I am going to control and that is my hair, now it may not fall out or may just thin or may fall out. I had it cut short yesterday as I don't want to put me or Tom through the "OMG my hair is falling out in clumps" thing. (wry grin)
Okay that's all I can think of for now but will update again if not before then after my first day of chemotherapy.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
One year and one month ago ~ more or less
So, July 2008 I go to my OB/GYN Dr. to discuss getting a total hysterectomy. I've had my tubes tied for a long time, getting ready to enter menopause so why not?
The Dr. agrees, we schedule surgery I get all kinds of tests done, everything fine, go into surgery and wake up to be told he felt "a mass".
GULP!!!!
Okay now what? Colonoscopy. Yep mass is there. Biopsy is done, then colectomy to have it taken out when it is determined it is malignant. This was September 2008.
Mass is out, waiting for results of tests, I break my ankle, end up in hospital and have surgery on my ankle, this is October 2008.. I wake up from surgery and my oncologist is standing there and says "I'm am so sorry, it's spread to your lungs and liver and is stage IV".
WOW!!!
Well due to alot of things I decided not to have any treatment. I made my peace and did all the research and decided to live my life until I couldn't.
I moved and met a wonderful man, Tom, he is my love, my life, my miracle. He accepted me for me and I live with him and our three cats now. He accepted my decision to have no treatment.
Now it's August 2009, I am still healthy, overweight in fact but it's time to see where things stand. Went to an Oncologist, he says he can cure me! I am sceptical~ I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY? If there was a "cure" for my cancer it would be shouted world wide and there is nothing I have read or heard that says this is the case. At best they can do chemotherapy to shrink the tumors, then do surgery to get out any they can and hopefully I will be cancer free UNTIL the microscopic cells they CAN'T see grow again and then I repeat the cycle over and over again until either they can't do any more for me and it's a matter of weeks or days or the chemotherapy kills me ~ We go home after talking to him and having a blood tests. The Oncologist orders a PET scan and MRI. We went back to see him yesterday.
I am going to do chemotherapy. Tom wants me to and well I guess I do too in some way or I wouldn't agree to it right?
I am scared silly but on the 8th of this month I go back to learn about the port they will put in my chest and the chemotherapy then on the 14th I go get the port put in and start chemo the same day.
I am not just scared I am terrified................................
09/01/2009 ~ CEA = 292 (Was 15 in 01/09)
PET = Multiple mets to liver and lungs, more than before.
MRI = No mets in brain
The Dr. agrees, we schedule surgery I get all kinds of tests done, everything fine, go into surgery and wake up to be told he felt "a mass".
GULP!!!!
Okay now what? Colonoscopy. Yep mass is there. Biopsy is done, then colectomy to have it taken out when it is determined it is malignant. This was September 2008.
Mass is out, waiting for results of tests, I break my ankle, end up in hospital and have surgery on my ankle, this is October 2008.. I wake up from surgery and my oncologist is standing there and says "I'm am so sorry, it's spread to your lungs and liver and is stage IV".
WOW!!!
Well due to alot of things I decided not to have any treatment. I made my peace and did all the research and decided to live my life until I couldn't.
I moved and met a wonderful man, Tom, he is my love, my life, my miracle. He accepted me for me and I live with him and our three cats now. He accepted my decision to have no treatment.
Now it's August 2009, I am still healthy, overweight in fact but it's time to see where things stand. Went to an Oncologist, he says he can cure me! I am sceptical~ I mean seriously? SERIOUSLY? If there was a "cure" for my cancer it would be shouted world wide and there is nothing I have read or heard that says this is the case. At best they can do chemotherapy to shrink the tumors, then do surgery to get out any they can and hopefully I will be cancer free UNTIL the microscopic cells they CAN'T see grow again and then I repeat the cycle over and over again until either they can't do any more for me and it's a matter of weeks or days or the chemotherapy kills me ~ We go home after talking to him and having a blood tests. The Oncologist orders a PET scan and MRI. We went back to see him yesterday.
I am going to do chemotherapy. Tom wants me to and well I guess I do too in some way or I wouldn't agree to it right?
I am scared silly but on the 8th of this month I go back to learn about the port they will put in my chest and the chemotherapy then on the 14th I go get the port put in and start chemo the same day.
I am not just scared I am terrified................................
09/01/2009 ~ CEA = 292 (Was 15 in 01/09)
PET = Multiple mets to liver and lungs, more than before.
MRI = No mets in brain
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