Hi everyone, this is Tom. This post has come to fast. As you know she has been suffering with cancer and these last few weeks have been tough. Marsha passed yesterday at 2:50 pm in our condo with me by her side. So she is no longer in pain, thank god she went fast and with the hospice personnel/drugs here she didn't suffer. As per Marsha's wishs she will be cermated (which will happen mon or tues) and I'm to keep her ashes. If you wish to send a card or flowers you can send them to our condo and I will build a shrine for all who to come by and pay there respects.
Thank you all for being part of her life, one of her biggest fears was to die alone and you guys have helped her understand that she was loved and would be missed.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Everything hurts
Wishes all of you and prayers also. I may or may not make it on tell next Tuesday, Tom has a vacation) also the morpine they have me on has me hallucenationing and I am to the point with the pain I have to stop and get a grip on before I just scream out, please kill me now. I appreciate all your words and thoughts and hope to back soon (like in a week or more)
Friday, November 12, 2010
On Hospice
I went to my Oncologist's today. It's time, He put me on hospice, they start coming out to my house tomorrow, at least the RN does. This means nothing more than I will have a bigger support group to help me and not have to call my Oncologist or go to the ER every time something happens. But it's still a bit emotional for me to hear those words, although it is the best for my health and for me and Tom. Also my Oncologist gave me a prescription for Morphine with Percocet for break threw pain and the Hospice will help to adjust the levels until we find the right level.
So that's all for now. Going to reast and will post more later.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
So that's all for now. Going to reast and will post more later.
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Help me
Yesterday I called my Oncologists as I was told to on Monday as no one had called me by 2:30pm. I talked to Tracy, the first person I talked to there, Mandy was not available nor was Dr. Siddique. I told Tracy the story, that I found out through my call to my Surgeon for my hernia repair that the cancer was now in my abdomen and I am extremely upset about it and need to know more about it. I also told her I was throwing up and having constipation from the pain meds and wanted an appointment with my Oncologist to ask about if I am taking the right pain meds (I am still taking the Percocet left over from my hernia surgery), I also told her about the "feels like sand paper rubbing on my lungs" the left more than the right and how I am having the burning tearing sensation over my whole abdomen.
She then transferred me to Jason who I went over the whole thing with again and He said that cancer of the abdomen encompasses the liver so that's probably what my surgeon meant, I told him, NO, she said the cancer was all over my abdomen and lymph nodes! He started to argue with me and I asked for an immediate appointment with my Oncologist. He told me to go to the emergency room for the constipation and then and only then would they give me an appoinment for my Oncologist.
I was furious and asked to be transferred back to Tracy. To my dumbfoundedness she said the same thing He did.
I was crying so hard I could not breathe and then said fine and hung up. Tom worked half a night last night and came home at 8:30pm and took me to the ER of the hospital by the Oncologist's office even though I had, had two bowel movements from a stool softener and Milk of Magnesia (I had asked Tracy and she said even if I had a BM I "HAD" to go to the ER before she would make an appointment for me to see the Oncologist.. I was pleasantly surprised as I have gone to that HR in the past (years ago and it took up to 6 hours to be seen) I filled out the paper work; about five minutes. And the minute they found out I had the cancer I have a nurse came over with a blue mask and told me to put it on because of my weakened immune system, I told her no it would cause a panic attack. 10 minutes later I am back in a room with Tom.
I had brought my last paperwork I had, written down all my concerns and also printed out my sheet with medications I take and operations I had along with Oncologist's card. The ER Physician was very impressed and I actually managed to be as He stated, "short and concise" with what I was worried about.
Then blood work was drawn and the Phelbotimist went exactly where I told her to go and she got the hit right away. My RDW is high, my GFR is low, my Chloride is low, my Alk Phos is high, my Albumin Level is low and my Glucose Lvl is high.
Since I had just had a CT with contrast October 12th, they did a CT with no contrast. As we waited for the results I was having heart burn doubling me up. The ER Physician immediately order malox with lidocaine in it. It was horrible tasting but worked like a miracle. (Never ask a nurse where the bathroom is, even though they did not need a urine sample she still made me pee in the cup)
The ER Physician then came back and went over my results of the CT scan with me;
"Multiple lung nodules seen in the masis largest is 3.7cm in the left lower lobe. Multiple hepatic lesions largest measures 3.5cm in the right hepatic lobe. "Evaluation of solid visceral organs is limited without use of an intravenous contrast." Tiny hiatal hernia is identified. There may be an enlarged para esophageal lymph node. Spleen, pancreas, adrenal glands and kidneys are normal. Enlarged periporal lymph nodes are identified. Abdominal aorta is normal in caliber. There are enlarged retroperitoneal lymph nodes with the largest in the left periaortic region measuring 2.1 cm in short axis diameter. Moderate amount of ascites identified.suggesting peritoneal carcinomatosis. There is nodularity within the omentum. Fluid filled ventral hernia is identified."
The ER physician then gave me two percocet 10/325 tablets which I took. He put a call in to my Oncologist. About half an hour later I was discharged with a 7 day prescription for the above medication and the report of my CT to give to my Oncologist. I profusely thanked the ER Physician and Tom and I came home.
I called my Oncologist office this morning, talked to Tracy, she would not make an appoinment for me to see my Oncologist until after an hour and six phone calls that FINALLY got her the report from my CT scan with contrast done on October 12th in the other ER of the other Hospital I used to go to. I then tiredly, exhaustedly begged her for an appoinment with my Oncologist. Tomorrow at 1:40pm even though Tom has to be to work at 2pm so He will be late for work.
Today I threw up, still have constipation, took Percocet for pain and as I sat outside reading a book tonight I started having the dry heaves.
We are asking the Oncologist to help me with the correct pain management and nausea medications along with what to do about the ascites and I am also going to ask him to put me on Hospice as Tom thinks this is best. I will get the help when I need it instead of having to fight with any office staff, my Oncologist or go to the ER all the time..
I stopped crying tonight after the dry heaves and took a nausea pill. Then I decided to set this on here and on the colon cancer forum (http://www.cancerforums.net/forums/21-Colon-Cancer-and-Rectal-Cancer-Forum) I am on. Please pray that the Oncologist's visit goes well and I get all I need. I feel like yes my time is starting to run out for real.
With prayers and thoughts and care for all.
Marsha
She then transferred me to Jason who I went over the whole thing with again and He said that cancer of the abdomen encompasses the liver so that's probably what my surgeon meant, I told him, NO, she said the cancer was all over my abdomen and lymph nodes! He started to argue with me and I asked for an immediate appointment with my Oncologist. He told me to go to the emergency room for the constipation and then and only then would they give me an appoinment for my Oncologist.
I was furious and asked to be transferred back to Tracy. To my dumbfoundedness she said the same thing He did.
I was crying so hard I could not breathe and then said fine and hung up. Tom worked half a night last night and came home at 8:30pm and took me to the ER of the hospital by the Oncologist's office even though I had, had two bowel movements from a stool softener and Milk of Magnesia (I had asked Tracy and she said even if I had a BM I "HAD" to go to the ER before she would make an appointment for me to see the Oncologist.. I was pleasantly surprised as I have gone to that HR in the past (years ago and it took up to 6 hours to be seen) I filled out the paper work; about five minutes. And the minute they found out I had the cancer I have a nurse came over with a blue mask and told me to put it on because of my weakened immune system, I told her no it would cause a panic attack. 10 minutes later I am back in a room with Tom.
I had brought my last paperwork I had, written down all my concerns and also printed out my sheet with medications I take and operations I had along with Oncologist's card. The ER Physician was very impressed and I actually managed to be as He stated, "short and concise" with what I was worried about.
Then blood work was drawn and the Phelbotimist went exactly where I told her to go and she got the hit right away. My RDW is high, my GFR is low, my Chloride is low, my Alk Phos is high, my Albumin Level is low and my Glucose Lvl is high.
Since I had just had a CT with contrast October 12th, they did a CT with no contrast. As we waited for the results I was having heart burn doubling me up. The ER Physician immediately order malox with lidocaine in it. It was horrible tasting but worked like a miracle. (Never ask a nurse where the bathroom is, even though they did not need a urine sample she still made me pee in the cup)
The ER Physician then came back and went over my results of the CT scan with me;
"Multiple lung nodules seen in the masis largest is 3.7cm in the left lower lobe. Multiple hepatic lesions largest measures 3.5cm in the right hepatic lobe. "Evaluation of solid visceral organs is limited without use of an intravenous contrast." Tiny hiatal hernia is identified. There may be an enlarged para esophageal lymph node. Spleen, pancreas, adrenal glands and kidneys are normal. Enlarged periporal lymph nodes are identified. Abdominal aorta is normal in caliber. There are enlarged retroperitoneal lymph nodes with the largest in the left periaortic region measuring 2.1 cm in short axis diameter. Moderate amount of ascites identified.suggesting peritoneal carcinomatosis. There is nodularity within the omentum. Fluid filled ventral hernia is identified."
The ER physician then gave me two percocet 10/325 tablets which I took. He put a call in to my Oncologist. About half an hour later I was discharged with a 7 day prescription for the above medication and the report of my CT to give to my Oncologist. I profusely thanked the ER Physician and Tom and I came home.
I called my Oncologist office this morning, talked to Tracy, she would not make an appoinment for me to see my Oncologist until after an hour and six phone calls that FINALLY got her the report from my CT scan with contrast done on October 12th in the other ER of the other Hospital I used to go to. I then tiredly, exhaustedly begged her for an appoinment with my Oncologist. Tomorrow at 1:40pm even though Tom has to be to work at 2pm so He will be late for work.
Today I threw up, still have constipation, took Percocet for pain and as I sat outside reading a book tonight I started having the dry heaves.
We are asking the Oncologist to help me with the correct pain management and nausea medications along with what to do about the ascites and I am also going to ask him to put me on Hospice as Tom thinks this is best. I will get the help when I need it instead of having to fight with any office staff, my Oncologist or go to the ER all the time..
I stopped crying tonight after the dry heaves and took a nausea pill. Then I decided to set this on here and on the colon cancer forum (http://www.cancerforums.net/forums/21-Colon-Cancer-and-Rectal-Cancer-Forum) I am on. Please pray that the Oncologist's visit goes well and I get all I need. I feel like yes my time is starting to run out for real.
With prayers and thoughts and care for all.
Marsha
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
New twist on things
Okay am well healed from my hernia surgery but am having troubles with constipation and also throwing up some mornings along with in my stomach the whole thing not just where the hernia surgery was a burning tearing sensation. So I called my surgeon tonight and she was very helpful to me, very willing to take time and went over my last CT scan and then I hear some words I don't understand and asked her about them. Well seems my cancer is not only in my liver and both lungs but in my ABDOMEN also which could be causeing the pain!
Now neither my first Oncologist when this was first found, my old Oncologist I just left or my new Oncologist I just saw have said anything about the cancer cells seeded in my abdominal wall and perio something or other and the lymph nodes.
WHY? I can understand my new Oncologist not saying anything, he probably thought I would already know and maybe this has happened since the first Oncolgist but that idiot in between why did He not say something.
So I am not scheduled to see my new oncologist again until the end of the month so Monday am going to call and try to get an earlier appointment.
I just don't understand why these fricking Dr's don't tell you everything at once! Anyone else have this happen oh and I wish a great and wonderful Saturday night for everyone.
So called the Oncologists office today and they need the CAT scan from my Surgeon, she is sending it to them by fax so I was told to call if I have not heard from my Oncologist's office by 2:30pm tomorrow.
Yesterday a wonderful woman from Hospice of the North Coast came and talked to Tom and I and she was a wonderful source of information. So when the time comes for Hospice we are going to go with this Hospice. Also she gave me two physicians names I can call and will call to get a primary care physician as I don't have one now.
Marsha
Now neither my first Oncologist when this was first found, my old Oncologist I just left or my new Oncologist I just saw have said anything about the cancer cells seeded in my abdominal wall and perio something or other and the lymph nodes.
WHY? I can understand my new Oncologist not saying anything, he probably thought I would already know and maybe this has happened since the first Oncolgist but that idiot in between why did He not say something.
So I am not scheduled to see my new oncologist again until the end of the month so Monday am going to call and try to get an earlier appointment.
I just don't understand why these fricking Dr's don't tell you everything at once! Anyone else have this happen oh and I wish a great and wonderful Saturday night for everyone.
So called the Oncologists office today and they need the CAT scan from my Surgeon, she is sending it to them by fax so I was told to call if I have not heard from my Oncologist's office by 2:30pm tomorrow.
Yesterday a wonderful woman from Hospice of the North Coast came and talked to Tom and I and she was a wonderful source of information. So when the time comes for Hospice we are going to go with this Hospice. Also she gave me two physicians names I can call and will call to get a primary care physician as I don't have one now.
Marsha
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My new Oncologist
Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. I like my new Oncologist, I don't love him but I do like him. Basically I have one option, start chemotherapy again which I refuse to do as it has become a quality of life issue versus quantity of life issue. So I will be seeing him once a month until the symptoms begin to show more (shortness of breath even when lying still, pain in lungs and/or liver area, yellowing of eyes or skin, etc) then he will treat the symptoms and when it is time call in hospice to help me at home until ......... So that's about it and again I appreciate truly each prayer and thought for me so thank you all once again.
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