Fourth Chemo session and a world of hurt

Sorry I haven't posted in a week or so but man I just couldn't.  I had complications with the tooth pulling but first let me back that up to the weekend after the tooth pulling.  I was on some serious knockout drugs and ended up peeing the bed then having diarrhea and I tried to clean everything up, but no money to do laundry and being ashamed of having these bodily things happen while your in bed with your boyfriend and then having pain and no energy to clean up well they all added up to make me feel the lowest I've felt yet. 

So this past Monday I go into chemo and they can't get a blood draw from my port, well they tried and tried then sent me down to the surgery where they put it in, the assistant kept manipulating the thing under my skin (that hurt let me tell you and she's going "hmmm" "hmmmm") then she calls in the surgeon well come to find out a RARE thing happened with me, the week before this I had been laying down watching TV, heard a small click from my chest where the port is and felt it settle deeper into my chest, turns out the damn thing turned over!!!!!

So, the surgeon manipulates it back into place like a doctor would a baby who's in the breech position and says if it happens again they will have to cut me open and stitch the port down (great thought that it "might" happen again),.

So then go get my blood drawn, my CEA is down to 182 but my white cell count is down to 1.4.  So get my chemo treatment and get told to come back Wednesday and get the port disconnected and then get a shot to boost my white blood cells.

One of my teeth they didn't work on at the dentist is KILLING me so we call and go into the dentist, the dentist looks and a RARE thing has  happened, a piece of my jawbone got splintered when they pulled the tooth next to that one and got stuck in the gum and infected, etc etc.  So we numbed the area, pulled the piece of bone and off we went.

 I got more antibiotics and Tylenol #4. 

So Wednesday we go back, get port taken out, have a bit of  scare as she cannot get a blood draw right away then she got it and then I got the shot for the white blood cells.  The nurse told me I would feel pain in the long bones of my legs so I get home take a Tylenol #4 and am out like a light for about 24 hours.

Yesterday I couldn't take the grubbiness of the house and the icky pissy and diarrhea smell and asked Tom to get me some quarters and did 5 loads of laundry and still have two to go, but the bed is clean and made, the house smells better and I am showered and clean although it took me all day to clean a studio and do laundry and I had like 20 meltdowns in between.  I am taking Valium and even  they don't help when I get overwhelmed or really let myself realize this is not going to have have a happy ending for me, I won' make it through this, I am going to die whether it's months or a few years, I'm not going to beat the odds.

And I don't want to leave Tom, I love him so much .............. Okay crying here so have to calm down.  Tom is sleeping next to me and I'll just cuddle him and be thankful for the time we have now.

Please add me to the prayer list for strength as I really really need it now.

Two upbeat things, Tom passed His physical at work (yeah!) and hopefully the first of December we'll be moving into a one bedroom beautiful condo)

Okay will write more later as I am able................................

Love,

Marsha

Monday and today

So, Monday went and got my teeth taken care of: 3 pulled and seven filling all at one time.  The insurance wouldn't pay for it all so the dentists office very graciously let me make payments on the balance (Five hundred and something) at $15 a month.

The dentist was great and so was his assistant. Barely any pain and right now the only thing that hurts is the side they had to "dig" the tooth out piece by piece as it wouldn't come straight out like the other ones.

So got an antibiotic prescription, another prescription for vicodin and told to come back today for a "deep cleaning" and consultation on 2 partial bridges.

Tom drove me and got there at 1pm today.  They called me back right away, get set in the chair and the receptionist/biller comes back and says I am over my allowed dental allotment for the year by my other insurance so can't have the cleaning or bridges BUT the new year cycle for my allotment for dental comes  up in January so we made an appointment then to get the deep cleaning and the partial bridges.   Now if my white blood cell count and platelet count will just keep cooperating and the side effects of the chemo stays mild I should have my teeth all taken care of in January.

Okay, just wanted to update on that, talk to ya'll again next Monday if not before ~ You are all in my thoughts and prayers ................................................

Oncologist visit and Dentist visit

Hope everyone is having a wonderful morning and day or night (depending where you are).  It's 3:45 am here and once again I am wide awake, but plan on going back to bed soon.

Yesterday Tom and I went to see my Oncologist; blood pressure normal range, blood drawn and white blood cell count and platelet range doing very well.  Will get the results of the CEA level again probably this next Monday as I go in for my fourth chemotherapy treatment.

I don't have the best of teeth and as I said had been having a toothache in an upper left molar.  My Oncologist gave me a note that it was okay to do the extraction and treat me in the usual manner.   There is a new dentist that opened not far from where Tom and I lived and we headed over there. 

Not good news, not one but two teeth needed to be extracted and 7 cavities filled.  I still have all my front and right to the side teeth, but all the molars are gone so we decided to do all the extractions and cavity filling in one fell swoop.  I have to say, never felt any pain not even from the needle, just pressure at the most even when they pulled the one tooth out and dug the other one out.

Got my instructions and made very reasonable payment arrangements to cover the over and above cost my insurance will not pay, said thank you so very much and Tom brought me home.  Took antibiotics and pain pills and replaced gauze over holes, so far so good, I even had a meal of soup and pudding and Gatorade. 

I go back this Wednesday for a deep cleaning and then will consult with the dentist on partial dentures.  Weird how for a long time I did not take the best care of my teeth and now with the knowledge that I can only buy so much time with the chemotherapy I now want to take better care of my teeth including getting them fixed LOL.

Well that's all the news for now, will write more later, I hope everyone has a great and wonderful day ...................................................

Just a quick update on side effects

The only remaining side effects seems to be a LOT of fatigue, I mean I am sleeping almost constantly when Tom is at work and barely stay awake for an hour or so when he is home and we are watching TV.  The other side effect is the neuropathy.  I seem to be waking up about 5:30 or 6am and I come down by the pool to read the paper and let Tom sleep some more.

Typing, touching the table, even a breeze makes my fingers, hands and feet tingle.

Diarrhea and nausea/throwing up seem to be gone (hopefully) for this round.  Monday I see my Oncologist and get blood work done, then the next Monday is chemotherapy treatment again.

Talk to ya'll later and have a wonderful day everyone  ........................

Restraining order

The judge denied it, guess me or Tom have to have black eyes and bloody lips to get any help with this harassement issue.  I am not going to let the bullies win though I refuse to stay locked in my house afraid of being out in the sun and breeze on the days I feel well enough to.

I have been trying to get my meds by mail for the past four  hours and am crying steadily I am so frustrated about both issues.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and to know the difference. ..........................................

Getting pack taken off and new CEA count

Went back to the cancer treatment center and had the pack disconnected from my port.  They also took out some of the stitches that had not been absorbed by my body, there are a couple more to take out yet.  No blockage in the port so far, free flow of blood so I am doing pretty good there.

Have felt nauseous the past few days and very tired, today is going to be a  lay in bed all day and not do a thing except watch TV and sleep.

My CEA count from 10/05/09 is 228.36 so it's going down (Yeah chemo keep fighting that cancer).

Next Monday go back to my Oncologist for blood draw and follow up with him, then the Monday after, chemo again.

Will update as side effects get worse or better and definitely will update tomorrow.

Take care all ......................................................

Third chemotherapy session

Pretty much the same routine, check in, get my blood drawn (through my port, not problems getting a draw and she left the tube in for when I came back to the day waiting room for treatment.) wait for the labs to come back, guess my white blood cell count and platelets are doing fine as they take me back for treatment.

Tom and I get all set up in the corner and the treatment begins, we watched more Grey's Anatomy on my laptop and Tom went and got us lunch at some point, good lunch and then the rest of the treatment.  They say 2-4 hours for treatment but I don't think we have or will get out of there in under six hours what with the waiting to be seen (not all that long), the blood draws (over in a minute), the waiting to be seen as they wait for the blood results to come back (little bit longer wait), the treatment (seems forever).

The nurse assigned today gave me the Avastin in 30 minutes rather than an hour, I didn't really understand her explanation of why so have to call the Dr. today anyway so will ask or tomorrow when I got to get the pack unplugged. (It was either they were  pushing  more in at a faster rate, or pushing less so it didn't take so long)

I know I dosed during treatment but don't think I really fell asleep.  I have been real nervous lately and my Dr. has me on Valium 5mg. and Wellbutrin, but the Wellbutrin is for to stop smoking (Stupid insurance companies and their more hoops, had to take the patch and my Dr. had to report it did not work, now have to take Wellbutrin and then when my Dr. says it does not work they will either FINALLY fill my prescription for Chantix to stop smoking or put me through more hoops (Uh, DUH! in case no one has been paying attention smokers have become pariahs and there are even cities in Southern California that are banning smoking in their City.  Smoking is an addiction and bad for your health right? Uh duh, cancer here and going through chemotherapy wouldn't it make sense for the insurance to want to help me stop smoking)

So okay back to the original subject. after chemotherapy I was really shaky and weak and emotional, have been going through spells like this, not sure if it's the chemo, the chit with the restraining order and court upcoming on Thursday or my worry about Tom and me.  Got to talk to Kristin and she asked me how often I take the Wellbutrin and I said once a day, she said up it to two a day and we will see how that works.  Stupid chemo brain! When I got home I found out I take one every 12 hours so already take two a day.  I called the office and left a message for her and will call her tomorrow.

The side effects from the oxaliplatin have started to kick in, I went to get Tom a cold pack from the freezer and was like "OUCH" the minute my hands touched the cold stuff.  No more teeny static electricity shocks, nope big time hurting burning sensation when I touch cold, shards of glass feel in the back of my throat when I drink something cold and even tingling in my hands and feet even when not touching anything cold.

It's 3:44am right now and I threw up for like the fifth time.  Oh yeah this treatment is going wonderful.

The baby shower Sunday was nice for my ex neighbor, small as a lot of people backed out of it but cute.  And she loved the stroller we got her although Tom thought spending over $200 for a baby stroller with a car seat was a bit much.  She is pregnant, just got kicked out of this apartment complex over her stupid boyfriend drinking, just broke up with him and is moving into a "roommate" situation for the first time in her life, I think she deserved a very nice gift and we payed halvsies on it so ................. (grin).

Forgot to ask what my last CEA count so will ask when I call today or just find out on Wednesday.

Okay will write more today as the side effects keep coming, take care all ............................