Well............ I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by the "lack" of side effects so far. I was expecting by now to be putting on gloves to get anything from the refrigerator, to be bundled up in a blanket at the slightest touch from the air conditioner, to have nausea and diarrhea out the (excuse the expression) wazoo.
A bit of diarrhea yesterday, a bit of a sore throat last night and I "think" terrible" gas pains. I say think because the areas were down in my lower side of my abdomen and when I passed gas the pains eased up, but it was bad enough to have me crying. (Yes I am the world's biggest wuss when it comes to pain), and a bit of a headache that went away, but no nausea, I can touch barehanded anything from the freezer or the refrigerator, put my hands in cold water etc. Just to be on the safe side am drinking room temperature drinks still but will try to today to see how a cold glass of juice from the refrigerator works.
Tom said he had a bit of diarrhea yesterday also so maybe it's something going around and not the side effects? (Okay I can deal with a cold but please, please let's not go the H1N1 route okay?)
I am as I said pleasantly surprised by the lack of side effects and yet .......................... my brain although rationally knowing that the side effects or lack thereof do NOT show a measure of how well or not the chemotherapy is working, some part of me is going "What if this cancer "I" have is the kind that does not respond to treatment? Is the lack of side effects indicative of this?" And again I know what all the books and web sites and people say that the side effects or lack of have no indication on how the cancer is responding or not but still makes ya wonder hmmmmmm? Another question for the Dr.
Oh, on the ongoing saga of Kristin (PA) prescribing me Chantix and the insurance companies not covering it. Yesterday the Dr's office called and told me to call 1-800-NO-BUTTS. I did, they walked me through a 30 minute discussion and answer session on ways to quit smoking and deal with it and are going to send my pharmacy a certificate that I went through this. The pharmacy then sends that in with the prescription (enter a code from the certificate or something) and about a week later I "should" get my Chantix. Also I can call at anytime to the number and talk to a "Counselor" and get support, suggestions, a sympathetic ear, etc while I am trying to quit. Very nice people and I suggest it for anyone trying to quit.
Tom's still sleeping and I am down by the pool so going to end this for now and read the paper, drink my coffee and wait for him to wake up. Today is laundry day so I will take it a bit slow, not try to do too much and will write again later if anything newsworthy comes up. Till later, have a great and wonderful day .......................
P.S Tom's up and down here reading the paper, he reminded me to put here how MUCH of a klutz I am LOL ~ Yesterday I bumped into the wall right at the height where my port is ~ I had to sit down and breathe for 5 full minutes before tears stopped coming to my eyes :) Note to self: BE MORE CAREFUL (as if that will help LOL)
Another note, and so much for trying "not" to do too much.
We came up to get breakfast and I made frozen pancakes and sausage for me and Tom, then started cleaning the house; doing dishes, taking up the cat food and water bowls, wiping down counters, emptying and cleaning the coffee pot and filter, taking up trash, emptying the cat litter boxes, sweeping, moping and emptying trash cans, wiping down counters and surfaces and then changed my bandages.
I need suggestions on how to ask Tom to help me with some of this and allow him to help without getting impatient when it doesn't happen right away cause the nearest I can come to describing the feelings while I am doing this and he is laying on the bed watching TV is road rage. I curse at a piece of litter that drops out of the bag, I throw the trash can out in the other room, I use the mop as a weapon, attacking the kitchen floor and banging into the refrigerator and counters. Tom has said before this behavior "scares" him.
I don't know what to do. I have always been the type of person who when something needs to be done "I" am the one who does it as if I don't it seems like it doesn't get done. By the time I was done my back was killing me, I was coughing and nauseous and upset, I didn't want Tom to hug me or anything as I was sweaty and hot and tired and not feeling well but I don't want him to think I am rebuffing him. And I still have to do make Tom's lunch, do laundry and put trash bags back in the cans and put them back along with the litter boxes, the mop and broom and such.
Any ideas, anyone?
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Around week 3 I had "the talk" with my wife. I told her that, for probably the next year, it was going to be all about me, and I'd need total support and understanding. I was going to be tired, sick, depressed, moody, angry, exhausted, and who knows what else. I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, and I'd help when I could - but she would have to shoulder the majority of the load for that time. Fortunately she's totally cool, and a strong gal, so there was no issue.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing was the people who say "what can I do to help?". I would say "well, I could use some work on my lawn"...sometimes people surprise you and actually help you out.
Good luck and keep blogging!
ALoha
RH
Thank you so much for your comments. I talked with Tom. I didn't mean to give the impression that he doesn't do anything, rather it's a case of me wanting to keep things "normal" and do what I usually do and I have to realize I can't sometimes and to be able to ask for his help.
ReplyDeleteHe is so sweet and so kind and he understands. I am very lucky to have my miracle (Tom) in my life.
Again thank you and unfortunately Tom is the only person that will ask me if he can do anything as our neighbors (Apartment complex) are some of the most cold, unfeeling, selfish people I've ever met. (I'll post about that at a later day when I can do so objectively as I still get pisssssssy over them LOL)
Again Thank you.